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No Matter What | Provoketive Magazine
24 Apr 2013

The Author

Joy Wilson is the author of Uncensored Prayer: The Spiritual Practice of Wrestling With God and a contributor to Not Alone (both Civitas Press, 2011). She and her husband, Bud, are two life-long hippies. They live in Bartlett, TN, with six cats, two dogs, and no TV. She is part of an eclectic group of Jesus-followers called Outlaw Preachers and has a passion for prison ministry. Also, Joy is an advocate for middle-aged and senior women, and anyone who suffers from depression. Joy’s website is joyleewilson.org and you can contact her at joyleewilson@gmail.com.


No Matter What
holding hands

Sometimes I perform the popular,

seek to satisfy the status quo

because it’s socially easier

to pretend to be like “them”.

Sometimes I crave acceptance,

even though it costs my soul.


I was created custom-made by God,

with ideas unique to me,

perceptions that fit no one else

that I alone can abdicate.


Then I think of Jael in Judges 4

who defied her husband’s allegiance

to follow the God of Israel,

risking absolutely everything

in response to God’s command.

I think of Paul and Peter

and Martin Luther King,

honoring their beliefs

over rational safety.


Am I willing to honor

common approval

over confirmed conviction

to follow Jesus’ call?

Dangerous devotion

to the only one

who gave all for me?


Am I such a coward?


Am I committed to God?

I wonder.

And yet my heart is drawn to love

without conditions or demands,

a God who accepts me as I am,

stays with me, no matter what,

irrevocable, illogical

to my finite mind.


Jesus, help me to risk resistance,

resentment, my own reticence

to stand for what I believe

perhaps alone except for you.

  1. I love this poem! I’m the coward. I’m the seeker, wanderer kneeling at the foot of the Throne, asking Jesus to help me to stand up for what I believe in… asking Jesus to help me to stand alone… except, perhaps, for Him.

    Thank you, Joy! Awesome!

    • Lori, I think Paul, Peter, and Martin Luther King were no different than us in their internal battles, yet lived out their faith publically. I’m reminded that God looks at the heart, but calls for action. God help us all!

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