Women are typically infinitely more creative than men. I think that can be proven through the dreams we have. Allison and I try to share our dreams each day from the night before.

Here’s the conversation we just had. Be warned. Her dreams go on for a long time. And feel free to analyze it.

Ray: Hey, sweetie, I had this amazing dream last night. You ever…

Allison: Oh, let me tell you about my dream. I dreamt we had adopted a little girl from Fiji, but we hadn’t legally adopted her. The courts were letting us have her until all the paperwork went through.

R: That sounds legal.

(Frown) A: Anyway, when they gave her to us, she had nothing. No good clothes to wear or anything. So next thing I know, we were in that little restaurant in Greenville, Kentucky. You, know, the one with the benches.

R: McDonalds?

A: No, the one with booths.

R: Arby’s?

A: Stop being silly.

R: Philly’s.

A: Yeah. And our other three girls were all over our little adopted girl, loving on her. And I said to you, “We can’t just let her go out without some new shoes and just a beat up dress! She can’t go out barefoot!”

R: Let me guess, I said, “Sure we can, it’s Kentucky.”

(Bigger frown) A: So we went out and got her some clothes. And all the way the girls were welcoming into our family, talking about how we could make her a new room with a big bed and give her a beautiful new life. Isn’t that wonderful?

R: Oh, yeah. Beautiful dream. You always have such heart warming dreams, sweetie.

A: Oh, what did you dream about?

R: Uh, it’s not quite the heart-warming drama variety.

A: Is it ever?

R: Do you ever have a really awesome dream and wake up thinking, “That dream would be the most awesome movie! I’ve got to write down the plot points and mail it to Tim Burton!”

A: Yeah, sometimes.

R: Well, I woke up and could only remember the last few seconds of it. It ticked me off.

A: What were the last few seconds?

R: Abe Lincoln had a bazooka in his hand. He made dead aim for the Golden Gate bridge and blew it up. Then he put down the smoking bazooka and said, “You had it coming you stupid bridge.”

(Silence)

A: Inspiring.

R: I thought so.